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God left me unfinished!
Biographical info
Full name Dade
Aliases Frank's Old Friend
Bald Man


Species Bald Chocolate Men
Gender Unknown
Relative(s) Dr. Trill (Possible grandson)

Chin-Chin (Possible son)

Filthy Frank (Possible son)

Heinrich Himmler (father or father-in-law)

Evil Dade (Bade) (brother)

Residence The Ghetto (Before 2014)

Realm 308.62 (2014) Bald Chocolate afterlife (2017)

Political info
Affiliation Filthy Frank

The new friends trio

Nationality African

German (formerly, presumed)

Occupation Getting Abused and Forced to puke Bald Chocolate
Rank King Of The Ghetto

(People think)

Miscellaneous info
First Appearance BASED ON A TRUE STORY


Role Bald Chocolate Man
Actor/Actress Lake Markham

Dade was one of the two last Bald Chocolate Men left in the universe. Despite his odd manner of speech, he was one of the useful characters on the show; his English literature majorly paying credit to this fact. Dade is also speculated to be the father to the most heinous leader in the world, Chin-Chin. Dade passed away on December the 22nd, 2014. He was recently revived for a short amount of time until he accidentally killed himself with a Fruit Snack.


Dade is a bald male chocolate man, who typically is mostly naked, sporting nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs. Dade is fairly muscular. His facial expressions are usually confused, angry or generally abnormal.


While searching for new friends after being kicked out of his apartment Frank found Dade lying naked in an alleyway and recruited Dade into his trio of new friends alongside Black Friend and HURSHES KiSess. After the four had stormed into the apartment, complete and utter chaos ensued. Frank then realized that three autisms don't make a right, and asked his new friends to leave. Dade decided to travel to Realm 308.62 and started a new life there with butter.

In 2014, a half-naked Dade was discovered by Safari Man in Realm 308.62, resting beside a fence. Safari Man asked Dade for his assistance in finding the two sticks of butter, a request that Dade happily obliged. They searched far and wide, navigating through many abandoned streets and dark back-alleys until they finally found two premium sticks of butter. Dade and Safari Man started messing around with the butter, amusing both of them. Though it was not caught on film, it is likely that Dade soon consumed both sticks of butter, because Dade suddenly began coughing up blood. Safari Man escorted Dade back to the apartment where the residents put him in the bathtub and treated his condition as best they could.

Dade sat in that tub for many days as Frank and his friends searched for a way to help him. After diagnosing him with liver failure, Frank went to his lab to research a cure, but found nothing. Pink Guy checked on Dade daily, to make sure he was doing okay. Finally, on Christmas Day, Dade succumbed to liver failure with Pink Guy comforting him by his side. He left one final message for Frank, smeared in chocolate on the wall, which read "LOVE U FRANK... -DADE".

His soul now peacefully resides in Realm 3, where he updates from his Twitter.

Dade then made a return in "7 EASY WAYS TO MAKE CHOCOLATE AT HOME", where Frank attempted to get help to defeat Evil Dade, but ended up with Dade vomiting Fruit Snacks into his mouth and him returning to Earth. Dade then found out that "Him + Frank = FRUIT SNACKS", so Dade reutrned to Earth and killed Evil Dade by throwing a single Fruit Snack. Dade then slipped on the ground and accidentally died via a Fruit Snack, returning to the afterlife.


Chocolate Secretion:

Dade, being a Bald Chocolate Man, produces a marvelous chocolate that is sought out by many. He seems to have some control over this, but it also seems to come out naturally at times.



  • "AH GAHHH!"
  • "OOWWOPP!"
  • "WAAH!"


  • Dade has a Twitter page (similarly to Red Dick and Prometheus) where he manages to communicate normally, writing in perfectly 100% fluent English. He is an English lit. major, and he writes epic poetry and has many deep philosophical quotes.
  • As of February 15, 2016, Dade A.K.A. the bald internet man, no longer wants to be addressed as Dade in real life, going as far as telling us to "drop" it, even though his Twitter account was made for his Dade persona. However, he still thanks his fans for supporting his music and writings, so Dade is now officially dead. This is where he tells us to quit addressing and infesting him with Dade:


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