"God left me unfinished!"

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Old Man
Old Man in New York
Biographical info
Species Hakujin
Gender Male
Born More than a million chromosomes ago
Residence New York City
Political info
Nationality American
Occupation Homeless bum
Rank Elite Carcinogen
Alignment Bad
Attitude Grumpy, cancerous
Abilities Cursing people with the cancer
Miscellaneous info
Role Evidence (for the fact that filming old people is cool)
Actor/Actress Himself
I hope you all get cancer.
Fuck you's all.
- Old Man, swearing at passers-by in New York City

The Old Man is an unnamed character, who appears in LOSER READS HATER COMMENTS 2, and the aptly named OLD MAN HOPES YOU GET CANCER. His famous quote is, "I hope you's all get cancer", directed presumably at the people passing by him at the park. The Old Man wears a gray thick coat and some sort of medallion. His angry personality suggests a tragic event that haunts him from his past. It is possible that Old Man is very powerful, as it has been suggested that he may be able to curse people. Many believe that he may the entity responsible for causing lycra and human entities to develop Cancer, a rare condition in which a body's cells are unable to stop multiplying, and thus begin to grow out of control. If Old Man is, indeed, the entity responsible for cursing such a vast number of people with such a debilitating condition, then it is entirely possible that he may have mastered the development of human tissue, and may be able to cause the human body to unnaturally repair itself or to cause others' health to rapidly decline. Thus, it is possible that he may have power over biokinesis, biogenesis, regenerative healing, immortality, necromancy, or even shapeshifting. As evidenced by his unusual attire and disturbing personality, it may be possible that he is a practitioner of dark magic, disguised as an average human being.